Maddie is born

The detailed account of labor and delivery........ The process was filled with many miracles.

Monday labor clues
On Monday I woke up with a stomach ache and diarrhea that lasted all day, we were going to do our laundry in the afternoon but I really wasn't feeling up to it. So we watched Hook instead and I slept and read some books on and off. Around 2pm I started feeling pretty regular contractions but they were like 10-20 min apart and not painful. Then at around 8pm I started feeling them 3-5 minutes apart. So I kept track of them and called the nurse after two hours and asked her what I should do. The only thing was that the last half hour they were 10 min apart. I had packed most of my bag two weeks ago, but 1 1/2  hrs into the contractions, Josh started packing all his stuff, the car seat, and other left over things. This was a miracle because we were all ready to go right when my water broke. We just had to get dressed and grab my wallet. But Monday night, after the contractions were 10 min apart we were pretty bummed thinking it was a false alarm. So I went to bed not thinking anything of it really.

Water breakage
I woke up about 12:30 and there was a lot of trickling. I was pretty confident it my water breaking because I kept leaking and I couldn't stop it. I even changed myself 3 times and brought a towel to the car with me. However, I wan't 100% convinced this was the real deal because the contractions weren't painful. But the doctor said if my water were to break, then I should head directly to the hospital. So we hopped in the car and off we went. When we got to the hospital, I told the nurses that I thought my water had broken. They checked to make sure the liquid was amniotic fluid and it was! We were really having our baby!!!! I was really proud that my water broke all on its own because I knew for sure that I had to go to the hospital and that I wouldn't be sent home. This was a miracle because I felt like it  soothed my anxiousness over debating whether or not to go to the hospital. Then I got really scared because this was the real thing and I really wanted everything to go okay and I wasn't sure what to expect. I wanted my baby alive and healthy. 

In the hospital bed
We texted our moms at 2am to let them know my water broke and that we were in the hospital. This was it! Then came a very overwhelming feeling the intimidation of the labor process looming ahead, especially as my contractions got stronger and more painful. A miracle is the beautiful blessing that josh gave me when the nurse had left. I felt such peace and comfort from the blessing and I was hopeful that everything would be okay. I have been learning that I need to have more faith in God when josh gives me a blessing. I have never been so grateful to have a priesthood holder in my home. I have never used the priesthood so much since being pregnant. That blessing and times since, thinking about the will of Heavenly Father has helped me to have a more eternal perspective and a more abiding and deeper faith. I know that Madison is in the Lord's hands and with that faith I can get through any trial and know that Madison will be okay. I love her so much and I just want her to be a healthy and happy baby.

Dilation 
When I got to the hospital I was 4cm dilated (they checked at 3am), and I was dilating about 1 cm per hour. This was good news and also very daunting. The contractions were quickly getting more painful and I dreaded feeling them every hour until I became 10 cm dilated. It was up to me to decide when to get the epidural so I had to be confident in myself and know what I wanted and when I wanted it. At 6am the nurses switched shifts. This was another miracle because the new nurse was the best nurse ever!!!   She helped me to endure labor. She was extremely encouraging and made me feel like I was a pro at the whole labor thing. I wish she knew how much I appreciated her bed side manner as a nurse because it meant so much to me. She kept telling me how fast I was going for a first time mom. Josh helped distract me by putting on some Colbie Callet and Studio C videos. That worked until the contractions hurt too much to care. 

Here comes the pain
At 6:30am my contractions were getting really painful. The nurse taught Josh a technique to push my knees toward me to provide opposite pressure to lessen the pain of the contractions. That exercise was a miracle because it helped to relieve some intense pain. However, as the contractions got closer together and stronger, they became unbearable. I was starting to lose it and cry out because it hurt so bad. I think I was only 6 cm dilated at this point so the thought of having to endure this for 4 more hours was excruciating. Josh was really good and helped me to breathe through them by breathing with me. He also massaged my hand and legs. I told myself that I would last until 8:30 before I got the epidural because the nurse said I would go a lot faster the longer I held out. Well it got to be 7:00 and the contractions were so extremely painful that I asked for the epidural. It took the anesthesiologist until 7:40ish to administer the medicine. I made it through the IV and contractions, now I just had to make it through the epidural and the pushing. Halfway there! 

The epidural
The anesthesiologist wanted me to curl up in a ball to insert the needle right. This made contractions really painful and super, super uncomfortable because I felt like I was smashing everything inside of me and then all of that was tightening together. Josh was really good and told me to focus. I got my intense face on and pushed through the pain. That made the pain seem more bearable too but it took a lot of self discipline and work. Probably after 2 contractions I started getting super tingly. I was surprised how fast it kicked in and how easy it seemed. The quick relief from the epidural was a miracle! The only thing that hurt was feeling contractions in a ball and the numbing needle prick. But that just felt like the numbing shot from the dentist. So I was experienced at not thinking about it and just letting it happen. I held Josh's hand though through the whole needle part. I HATE needles so this was a very big thing for me. When I started getting numb, it was the best thing ever. I felt so peaceful and like I was in heaven compared to the severe pains from the contractions that I had just been feeling. Then I started dilating really fast which I was very pleasantly pleased and proud of my body. This was another miracle because I was not expecting it, especially with the epidural. 

The baby's complications 
I saw two different doctors because there was a shift change but my second doctor was incredibly nice and calm. This was another miracle that I had him for my doctor. The baby's oxygen level kept dipping and he was a little concerned about that which immediately I became very worried. I prayed hard that everything would be alright. I have never prayed so had over and over again. The nurse shifted my body and her heart quickened up. I was also on oxygen taking purposeful slow breaths, which helped too. We could hear the heart beat monitor. They were also keeping track of my contractions. The doctor also found that baby was facing the wrong way so he called in an ultra sound machine to check where her spine and other things were located to see if he could flip her around. I was also praying really hard at this point too. She had been doing so well and even seemed ultra well because she was going so quickly. I prayed that she would be alright. It sounded like the baby facing the opposite direction happens to quite a few babies but the doctor didn't sound very promising on how she would end up having to come out. I was nervous because I didn't want a c-section after all of this. But as long as she would be okay I would be fine. He had me push like one or two times and he turned her around successfully!!!! This was another miracle. 

Pushing 
Then we waited for about 1 hour for the doctor to come back from the operating room. He checked everything and gave the okay to start pushing. He left again and the nurse helped me to know when to push and how to push. On most every contraction I pushed for 10 seconds 3 times in a row. I thought I was going to blow out my brains I was pushing so hard with so little air. But the nurse told me I was doing good, so I thought what's a couple of popped blood vessels? I pushed for an hour. Josh supported my back and I held my legs. When Madison was crowning the nurse asked if I wanted to touch her. I touched her head! It inspired me to push as hard as I could. Then her heart beat went way down and I stopped pushing when I felt contractions so we could give her plenty of oxygen. Then the doctor came back. I was really nervous she wasn't breathing right again and I could tell he was at least mildly concerned too. My sincere pleading prayers continued.

The episiotomy 
Then the doctor took over. He asked if I wanted an episiotomy. I said I wanted whatever would get her out faster because I was worried that my contractions were hurting her, especially if it took longer for her to come out. So he started cutting. Of course I couldn't feel anything, but I saw the supplies he used for the procedure. 

10:31 AM
Then with a couple of pushes she came out!!!! I couldn't help but cry when she came out and I saw her between my legs. She was an actual baby who cried with a face, arms, legs etc. It was so overwhelming. Then they put her on my chest. This was another miracle that she came out of me and was sitting on my chest... That her tiny little body was created in my body and came out of a small little opening. She was so perfect. We tried to do some skin to skin but she was making grunts for cries so they hooked her up to some oxygen. It didn't really matter that they took her away from me because I just wanted her to be healthy. The cord was wrapped around her neck so that explained why she was having a hard time getting a oxygen but the doctor easily slipped it right off her neck. That was another miracle. Then they took her to the well baby nursery. That was mother miracle that she went to the nursery and not the ICU. Josh and baby came back an hour later. I was just laying in bed awestruck at what just happened. My eyes wanted to close and body wanted to drift to sleep but my heart couldn't afford it. My feelings were so powerful and the whole things was so overwhelming. I was finally a real life mommy. I prayed really hard while I was waiting for her to be okay and for her oxygen levels to go up. So hard. Over and over again. And soon she came back!! and her levels went up!! Another miracle. Then I fed her. She was a pro and I thought the whole breast feeding thing would be really easy because she did so good and it seemed like she ate so much. Then Josh's mom came in to visit us. I wanted to cry when I saw her because it made the whole experience feel real. 

Post Delivery
Then Madison and I were wheeled to another room where we all held her. I tried feeding her and waited for mom to come. I was soooo excited to see her and share this experience with her. She bought a ticket on the first flight she could find to SLC. Darci and John also came to visit. The baby had several tests. She did well in al of them. Her blood sugars were a little low but they said it was okay at that point. Mom came at like 5:30pm. It was so great to see her. She is another miracle. The maxwells also came that night. Everything is such a blur now from day two in the hospital. We did send her to the nursery for the night and Josh and I both slept really soundly. I was nervous though because our nurse was forgetful and I was really worried she would forget about Madison or that nobody would be watching her. So I prayed really hard that night until I fell asleep. The nurse brought her to me in the middle of the night for feeding. Another miracle. I prayed that angels would watch over her. Everyday I have been recovering more. Once the epidural wore off I was in serious pain even to sit. It was hard for me to hold Madison that way too. 

Nursing
The lactation nurse came by the second day to see how baby was feeding and to help me out. She ended up giving me a shield. Madison is so temperamental when I am feeding her. So the nurse was really helpful to teach me some nursing techniques. Both Josh and I never thought it would be so difficult and frustrating to nurse. We thought it came more naturally to babies, especially after that first feeding.

Going Home
Then we met with the obgyn doctor and the pediatrician.... Both were very helpful and kind, especially the obgyn doctor. I felt like that was another miracle.   We got to go home early too..that was another miracle.   It was also a miracle that they had us go to the health center to test her billi rubin count. We ended up putting her on a light treatment therapy the day after we got home. It is a miracle that she is feeding well, peeing and pooping like she is supposed to, and that she came off the therapy!   Mom's help is a miracle. I don't know what I would have done without her. Josh's help in calming and caring for Madison is a miracle because I don't feel alone. I feel so incredibly happy to have this little girl in my life. Have been praying more these past few days than ever before. I am so a incredibly grateful for Madison . She has made me the happiest girl in the whole wide world!!!!!!!!